Sunday, April 23, 2006

Pancakes and Giants

The other night I was eating at the International House of Pancakes aka IHOP. Now don't get me wrong I usually don't eat breakfast at midnight, but damn I felt like pancakes, and where else can you get pancakes at midnight? Besides Denny's, Jims, The Waffle House (kinda ironic pancakes at the WAFFLE house, but I digress), Las Palapas, and some participating McDonalds. Well besides all those places you get them from IHOP. Anyways I was just sitting there with my friend Carlos. Some people say he's too quiet, but I say he's too dark. This guy makes Whoopi Goldberg look clear. As I was saying I was just sitting there waiting for my food when I hear the infamous, "OH SHIT," from Carlos, accompanied by a, "GOD DAMN SHE'S TALL!" I turned around and only saw a girl who was normal height. I looked back at my negro friend, and said, "who?" Carlos said the girl sitting with her family next to the shorter girl. I turn again, and to my surprise the normal girl was sitting to a tall girl. I didn't notice the first time because I only saw the tall girls black dress, and I thought the normal height girl was sitting next to a black wall. Turns out she was sitting next to a tall girl.

Now don't get me wrong I might be short for a guy, and I happen to think any girl over 5' 5'' is tall, but this girl was so tall she probably has to duck when she walks into a room to keep from hitting the ceiling. She had to be close to Tim Duncan's height, and appetite after seeing what she ordered. So after I saw the tallest person at IHOP my pancakes finally arrived. I enjoyed my meal, but needed some ketchup for the eggs. Carlos used all of it on his fries with his Philly Bistek con queso so I started walking around in search of the ever ellusive Heinz Ketchup bottle. I finally found the damn bottle no thanks to our highschool dropout waitress, and walked back to our table. I looked over at the giant, and noticed she wasn't sitting there anymore and her friend was gone too. I looked to Carlos and loudly said, "HEY WHERE'S THE GIANT?" Little did I know my speak before I think comment would get me in trouble. Carlos just starts laughing and looking down while saying, "oh shit." So I start casually laughing saying what? And he says, "She's right behind you." I had to put down the piece of pancake I was about to eat,and said "Fuck you have got to be kidding me." Sure enough I turned around, craned my neck to the ceiling, and there was the fucking giant. All 20 feet of her.

With that I pushed my plate out of the way and ran to the cashier before the giant had a chance to step on me. I paid my share to Carlos who paid Mitch's crack whore girlfriend (who's a cashier there), and I think Carlos gave her a little extra for her habit, but I was out the door by that time. All in all it was a good night. Pancakes and giants you can't beat that.
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