Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Finally the church is making sense...

It's about how the Pope wants Catholics to mulitply, meaning have more sex. Well I'll be right back, thank you Pope.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Hi, how's it going?

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If this girl was going to like girls, you'd think they'd be girls that didn't look like guys.

I wish I was a bowling ball right now.
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Picture explains itself.
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Until next time...
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Monday, August 22, 2005

What the fuck, seriously? God, damn some people piss me off.

Ok, so here's my story for this week. I'm talking to this girl, let's call her Jenny, I don't really give a fuck what her name is, because she pissed me off. Anyways Jenny thinks that I'm too judgemental because I said being a receptionist for a hairstyling place is an easy job. I also said College Professors have easy jobs, because all they do is talk about a certain subject, and hand out tests. This bitch then has the tenacity to bite my nuts off, and stomp on them, by saying, "You are too judgemental." She then goes on to challenge my education, my use of grammar, and the fact that I'm arguing with her.

Ok, bitch, first off every thing I said was true about a receptionists job. I said all you did was talk on the phone and sit. You countered by saying, "No I deal with customers, attitude, making appointments, dealing with money, kids, hair products, cleaning, and being nice." Ok talking on the phone covers half the shit I mentioned, sitting on your ass dealing with the other shit that doesn't involve a phone covers the rest. You knew I used to work at H.E.B. as a cashier, yet you still said I would not be able to handle working your job.

After hearing all the "trouble" you had to deal with I immediatley changed my mind about your job, it isn't easy, it's really easy. I worked with customers, kids, money (thousands of dollars a shift) which is nothing to your maybe hundred's a shift, let's see attitude yeah dealt with that after having a couple hundred people come through your line more than one is pissed and ready to blame their horrible life on you, granted I didn't deal with appointments or hair products, I think memorizing all the codes for vegetables along with scanning groceries suffices. (Yes I'm one of the few cashiers who actually knows the codes.)

Now, you still questioned the quality of my education, bitch, you aren't even in College. You're a damn receptionist with no future at a dead end job. Question my education after you get a degree, in a field worth mentioning might I add. Private school, one of the top High School's in Texas, and going to UTSA isn't that bad and provides a decent education. More so, in fact than a job at a hair salon.

Also, telling me that I am too judgemental, you are a fucking hypocrite. You said my grammar sucks, I can't handle a receptionist job, and my education is below par. Yet all I said was your job is easy and college professors have an easy job. Thank you and congratulations you take the cake for being this week's dumbass.

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Saturday, August 20, 2005

And people wonder how Mexican's can climb the fence at the border...We're born with it.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Worth the long read,remember to answer the question.

Just found this today and actually got goosebumps reading it.


You make the choice Don't look for a punch line. There isn't one.

Read it anyway.

My question to all of you is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled
children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that
would never be forgotten by all who attended.

After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a

"When not interfered by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe, that when a child like Shay comes
into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents
itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story: Shay and his father had walked
past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball.

Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?"

Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like
Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were
allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging.
Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if
Shay could play.

The boy looked around for guidance and, getting none, he took matters
into his own hands and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs
but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in
The outfield.

Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to
Be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father
waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now,
with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was
all but impossible 'cause Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved in a few
steps to lob the ball, softly so Shay could at least be able to make

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher
again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground
ball right back to the pitcher.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown
the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would
have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher took the ball and turned and threw the ball on
A high arc to right field, far beyond the reach of the first baseman.

Everyone started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!"

Never in his life had Shay ever made it to first base. He scampered
down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!"

By the time Shay rounded first base, the right fielder had the ball.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but
he understood the pitcher's intentions and intentionally threw the ball
high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously
circled the bases toward home.

Shay reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him, turned
him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third!"

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams were screaming,
"Shay, run home!"

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero
who hit the "grand slam" and won the game for his team.

"That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his
face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and
humanity into this world."

AND, NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of
jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to
sending messages about life choices, people think twice about sharing.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace,
But public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools
and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that
you're probably sorting out the people on your address list that aren't the "appropriate" ones to receive this type of message.

Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a
difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to
help realize the "natural order of things."

Monday, August 15, 2005

Keep San Antonio Lame

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Sunday, August 14, 2005

Silly faggot, "Dicks are for chicks."

So this guy got busted for having sex with a rabbit. Please tell me what's next. On second thought I don't want to know. Here's the story you all are dying to read...

Saturday, August 13, 2005

WWJD---Yes What would Jose do? (Btw I'm Jose)

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Beetlejuice agrees my site kicks ass.
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Friday, August 12, 2005

Rant: Stupid People (You know who you are)

This goes out to the people in America who refuse to assimilate into the American culture. Meaning they do not learn English even after living here for 50 years, they fly flags of their homeland, they say Viva Mexico, Heil Deuthchland, Long Live England, *insert whatever the hell Puerto Ricans say because I can't understand them*, but do they ever say that about America?

They say how great their country is, yet they usually flee their country for a better place, America, and these people make me sick. Flying another countries flag in your yard or on your car is cool when it's next to the American flag as well, but if you just worship your homeland's flag, just move back. You show no respect to America and no appreciation for what it stands for. You abuse your right of free speech to fly another countries flag that has nowhere the amount of principles as the American one. You all disgust me.

Now I am not saying every one should stop doing whatever their culture does, but rather tone it down, and try to become American rather than sticking to the values of your former country.

Off topic but to the people who call San Antonio, San Anto, or Houston Houstone, H-town, the big Hizzy ma nizzy fo sheezy (ok that was stupid),please just shut the fuck up as well. You aren't cool by coming up with new ghetto names for cities.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Who? Mike Jones...Who? Mike Jones...Who? Shut up already

Why I don't drink stuff that's on fire
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Smack that ass
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Why I hate swimming at Fiesta Texas or any other public pool.
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And now some thing cute.
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Followed by some thing...
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Enjoy it guys, you deserve her.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Britney Spears

Well it's official Britney Spears has just killed her career. I don't think she can be a "Pop star" while being a mom. And to think she gave America so much. (That's sarcasm, just so every one's clear.)

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Oh and the girl in yellow is hot. And if she's 17 I'd hit it in Texas, but if she's younger, I'd hit it, only in South Carolina. Thank you redneck laws.

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Sunday, August 07, 2005

Laughter, where would I be without it?

I need this right about now.

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Really what the fuck? I hate Dakota Fanning.

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This is one of the times I wish I was a naked pig or at least a porn star.

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Disclaimer if you are offended by people making fun of Jesus please skip the next set of pictures. Oh and I don't care if you don't like the pictures. Just take it for what it is, comedy. To those that are offended and wish to skip click here.

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Thursday, August 04, 2005

More stuff

This is the last time I try and get a girl drunk before taking her to my place...
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Remember kids...
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If you're the one being teased...
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Last but not least ah screw it just check it out...
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Bet you thought I was done. Well in case you haven't heard Rupert Murdoch has bought the ever so popular Myspace. Here's one happy person....
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The people who have Myspace should know that is the previous and partial owner of Myspace who is now 580 million AMERICAN DOLLARS richer. Nice going losers, every one who has Myspace just made two bigger losers instant Millionaires.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Enjoy the RaNDoMNeSS

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Finally a dog who got to close to a porcupine.
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